V On Paper

When did being a sensitive person turn into something bad?
What was once a good thing now leaves me feeling hurt and sad.
Does anyone ever think before they speak anymore these days?
I am going to assume no considering peoples words have hurt my heart many different ways.
I used to accept that I was too sensitive, too touchy, and simply taking things to heart.
But, now I see there is nothing wrong with my feelings or heart other than the fact that I keep allowing others to tear them apart.
So how do I break this cycle of what seems to be endless and constant pain?
My tears seem to flow regularly on their own and I want to hide them from everyone, but since my life isn't a movie, I can't just go cry in the rain.
But wait, why should I be the one to do something? Why should I change who I am inside?
God gave me this loving and sensitive heart to do His will and that's something I can't hide.
I just wish for once people would stop and consider the impact their actions and words may have on another.
I'm not saying walk on eggshells around me, but remember what is funny or no big deal to one, may be heartbreaking to the other.
I'm always afraid to speak up and just say hey, you hurt me, or hey this is how you made me feel.
I've been called super sensitive and crybaby so long its like what I feel just isn't real.
I'm not allowed to hurt when you talk about my weight, my skin color, or especially my hair.
Tell you it hurt when you criticized my parenting, laughed at my schoolwork, or my singing, I just wouldn't dare.
If I say I feel left out, I feel alone, or even I feel replaced, my feelings get brushed off and pushed aside.
Meanwhile another piece of my heart has broken and something inside me has died.
Don't mistake my pain for a lack of faith in the Lord above.
Just because I have Him on my side doesn't mean what you say and do does not hurt, but it means I keep pressing on because of His undying love.
The words never seem to want to come out of my mouth, so I put them on paper and set all my emotions free.
At least on paper I am always respected, appreciated, and loved no matter how much I cry. At least on paper it is okay to just be 100% me.