I am sitting here at work TRYING to focus on all of these mini projects I have and just be productive, and I am sitting here starving because all I had for breakfast was a breakfast pastry and a Speedway Coffee. But, I don't want to eat anything else because I need to lose some weight. I keep looking down at my outfit and I feel disgusted by the way it fits. I have been half heartedly trying to workout and make some dietary changes to lose the weight. Obviously, I need to step it up and go ahead and put the work in. I don't feel very motivated to do so. In fact, I really feel some type of way today and I can't put my finger on it. I don't quite have an attitude, but almost. I am not really sad or depressed, but almost. I just feel heavy. And the second I acknowledged the feeling, God got me together!
Why am I heavy? Because I am spiritually weak. I want to lose all of this "weight" that is making me feel heavy. Depression adds a few pounds. Worry goes straight to my hips. ;) Frustration adds another pound. Lack of faith adds some more. I am trying to carry all of these burdens around, but all they're doing is wieghing me down. I thought lifting weights made you stronger! God had an answer for that too. I am lifting the wrong thing. I just keep picking these problems up OVER and OVER. What I need to be lifting is my word. What I need to be lifting is my prayer life. What I need to be lifting is my fellowship. Right now, I could not "leg press" (meaning walk in) the entire book of Philippians and it is only 4 chapters. Sure, I can quote a few scriptures. Sure, I go to church. Sure, I sing. Sure, I am at Bible Study. Sure, I serve in several other ministries. But, I have been doing all that attending and serving half heartedly. I cannot serve with my whole self because I am so weighed down with worldly JUNK! So, now it is time for me to go ALL IN!!!
I keep "forgetting" that my physical life is very much attached to my spiritual life. How can I be motivated to get off of my butt and work out if I am not motivated to get right on the inside? I truly believe my physical appearance is an outward reflection of my spiritual appearance. And, if I am not spiritually healthy it will show. When I start feeling sad I am filling myself with ice cream and junk (literally) instead of the word! I can look back over my life and say that where I am spiritually is amazing compared to where I was. I AM in my word. I DO have faith in God. I AM growing. BUT! it is just not enough. Why? Because God is taking me to a new level. He is growing me and pushing me towards my purpose in his kingdom, and that means my "weight lifting" has to increase. I cannot start working out and grow and then expect to see more results doing the same workout routine. No, it is time to add some more "good" weight. Spend a little more time in the gym. Work a little bit more with the trainer.
I am ready to drop the "bad" weight and pick up the good! I bet I'll be benchpressing the Book of Psalms in no time! ;)
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